building a flexible brain
flexibility is crucial to the practice of yoga...and it's not what you might think.
No, I do not mean physical flexibility or placing your foot behind your head – I am talking about mental flexibility.
Mental flexibility is one of the most significant determinants of mental health. It allows people to adapt to environmental changes and react in new, creative, and healthy ways that align with an individual's goals and values. By maintaining openness, accepting our emotions, dealing with setbacks, and processing intense emotions, we can navigate challenges resiliently. This adaptability is a key aspect of mental flexibility, preparing us to face new situations with confidence.
We often see a sense of rigidity, the opposite of flexibility, in children. Young children may be troubled by the words "no" and feel overwhelmed by emotions without the tools to process them adaptively. We've seen or experienced a tantrum erupting after telling a three-year-old they cannot have a third cookie or buy a toy from the store just because they want it. Developmentally, there is little space for reasoning at this age, which can result in frequently feeling overwhelmed by emotions. Life is seen in black-and-white – likes and dislikes, expectations and disappointment, yes and no. There is not a lot of room for gray areas. As we grow and evolve, we become aware of nuance and integrate information, broadening our worldview. At any age, it is not that our wants or emotional reactions are not valid – but when we have mental flexibility, we can process these emotions while staying present and open to new or adaptive ways of responding.
Rachel Goldman, PhD, FTOS, a psychologist and clinical assistant professor at the NYU School of Medicine, states, “If we take that moment to pause, we can then properly assess a situation, remind ourselves to be present, what is in our control, and then make a decision based off of what we truly believe in, and not the current emotion we may be feeling (which may lead to reactive, impulsive, or rigid behaviors).”
Flexibility not only helps people respond better to challenges, but it also plays a crucial role in managing stress when setbacks occur. It can improve how people manage stress, giving them a sense of control and ultimately enhancing overall well-being.
By consciously or subconsciously setting expectations for jobs, careers, relationships, ourselves, and others, we often hold rigidly to these beliefs about how things 'should' be. When situations or people do not meet these expectations, it can feel like our emotions are taking on our three-year-old persona – having an emotional outburst, a strong sense of injustice, and a wave of childlike stubbornness. These challenges can trigger our inner wounds, contradict our belief systems, and reinforce faulty core beliefs about ourselves, leading us to view ourselves as the victims of circumstance.
However, with the transformative power of mental flexibility, we can cultivate space to feel and process the uncomfortable emotions that accompany disappointment, rejection, and loss. Then, returning our awareness to the present, we can assess ways to adapt, receive support, and uncover a new direction forward. We have the power to act as alchemists – transmuting life's challenges into lessons and information that will guide us forward.
"The Universe is exactly the size that your soul can encompass. Some people live in extremely small worlds, and some live in a world of infinite possibility." – Kevin Hearne.